Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize