She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
