I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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