Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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