Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
