You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
