Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
