So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so explain again why im purple
no
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
