This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
