the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you traded sex for a burrito?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
