Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
