Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Panties = found
Randomize
