Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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