she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
