I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
