if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
