The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
