What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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