i dont even know how to be here
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
