Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
