Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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