somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
