bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
