Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize