In the future we'll all be gay
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
