JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I need a beard to bite.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
