I am in a vortex of obligation.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
