If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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