I'm jealous of your bromance
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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