Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
