You're a womanizer and a bitch.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
