like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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