dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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