oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
