she was so not down for the gang bang
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
