That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
