she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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