Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
