what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize