Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
farters have to be the big spoon...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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