It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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