He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
