Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
