This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
