at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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