Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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