did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
