Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize