I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
