Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
a search helicopter?!
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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