conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
