When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I forgot how hot balto sounded
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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