Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
