omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize