just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
