No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
