Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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