the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize