Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
