Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
