I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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