what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
