TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
