Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
