You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I need to stop coming to work sober
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
